My Mind on Shuffle

There’s a lot of things about the whole steroid scandal in baseball that bother me.  For one it cheapens the joy that was the summer of 1998.  I loved watching Sammy and McGwire chase the HR record together.  It was especially entertaining given that I loved Sosa and hated McGwire; it laid everything out in a nice good guy/bad guy format.  Sure the villian prevailed in the end, but I’ll never forget that Sammy held the record over portions of that season.  After that year, Big Mac started trailing off, Sammy had a couple more dominant seasons and then took a fastball of the dome piece, accidentally (I’ll believe the BP bat mixup until the day I die) used a cork bat in a game, left Chicago in disgrace and now seems to be retired. 

In the meantime, Barry Bonds suddenly became the greatest hitter of all time.  Granted, Bonds was a great player previously, even won a couple of mvp awards, but following that summer of ‘98 his stats are just freakish (not to mention his sudden bodily transformation, any coincidence that Bruce Banner has the same initials?  I think not).  I’m not talking like, “oh look, Barry’s hitting more HRs this year”.  I’m talking inhumanly absurd, averaging a HR every 8 ABs is ridiculous.  If he wasn’t setting IBB records at the same time, it’s completely reasonable to believe Bonds would have hit 80 or 90 HR at some point in the last six years.  Then we had Juiced and the congressional hearings.

Watching the congressional steroid hearings was strange.  There was McGwire practically in tears as he pled the fifth (making him legally immune, but essentially admitting his guilt); there was Sammy speaking english as poorly as he had since he got off the boat; there was Palmeiro wagging his finger while lying through his teeth; there was Canseco coming off as the most straight-forward person involved; finally, there was the conspicious absence of Barry Bonds.  They left me feeling stupid for wanting to believe Sosa, vindicated for vilifying McGwire, eventually sick for supporting Palmeiro and ultimately confused.

At this point, McGwire, Sosa and Palmeiro are out of the game.  This is really probably for the best.  Despite whatever transgressions they may have made in the past, at this point they all seem content to fade into oblivion.  I think everyone assumes the worse, but nothing’s been proven definitively.

Bonds, on the other hand, has BALCO, false grand jury testimony and this new book Game of Shadows (a compelling excerpt of which recently appeared in SI).  With loads of documentation, research and witness testimony, this book lays out in painful detail Bonds’s abuse of every performance enhancer this side of Viagra (Raffy’s still the winner here).  The poster boy of the steroids era has his entire “secret” brought into the light.  Another blow for truth and justice against the culture of the cheater right?  Well, maybe.  But probably not.

This is what bothers me the most about the entire steroids issue and Bonds in particular.  In all probability, NOTHING WILL COME OF THIS.  Due to baseball’s pathetic drug policies previous to last years restrictions, Bonds will probably skate on a technicality.  Bud “The Spineless Wonder” Selig still hasn’t committed to an official investigation into the book’s allegations.  If he does, reportedly the only things that would result in Bonds’s suspension are federal indictments for tax evasion or perjury.  Way to protect the sanctity of the game there, Bud.  In other news, Pete Rose still banned.

Even worse, to my eyes, Bonds is still out there swinging away.  His comment on the book?  Something to the effect of “No Comment”.  He refuses to address it.  Instead he seems intent on putting on a song and dance show for the documentary crew following him around this year.  As if one year of “creepily goofy” Barry (see the Paula Abdul getup) will somehow erase everyone’s memory of years and years of “sullen asshole” Barry.  It’s like the slimy guy in the office that all of the sudden tries to be your best friend when he realizes you know that he got a hummer from the boss’s wife at the last office party.  Meanwhile, he continues his assault on baseball’s “most sacred record”, chasing immortals Babe Ruth and Hank Aaron.  Now Babe may have abused some substances, but I guarantee you that hot dogs, booze and ho-juice didn’t help him hit homers.

If Bonds had any – any – respect for the game of baseball, he’d retire.  Now.  No questions asked, no statements necessary.  I don’t even want an apology.  I just want him to go away.  If Bonds breaks these records, he won’t be recognized as the greatest power hitter of all time.  Instead he’ll be vilified for his transgressions, probably the most despised character in the history of sports.  If he quits now, at #3, I think he has a chance to ultimately be remembered as a great hitter, caught up in his own competitiveness and the culture of an era.  Sure he’ll be remembered as a jerk too, but people still talk about Ty Cobb as a great ballplayer. 

O.J. was found innocent too, but you don’t see him out much anymore do you?  So, Barry, follow his lead and please, do us all (and yourself) a favor and disappear.