My Latest “Quarterlife Crisis”
Have you heard this term before? Quarterlife Crisis? It’s my generation’s answer to the midlife crisis, only it hits in the 20’s. It’s a legitimate social phenomenon, based on the whole college/job atmosphere, changing expectations, etc. You can learn more about the details elsewhere. I’m mostly interested in bitching about my life.
Here’s my month: friends (one younger than me) have baby; other friend gets married; I turn 25. These are really individually all causes for celebration. I couldn’t be happier for AnK, as witnessed by previous post. I’m definitely looking forward to Pete’s wedding this weekend. All of my friends’ weddings have been awesome (this is the fourth in a year and a half). My birthday I’m far less excited for, and not only because 25 is looking down the barrel at thirty. The real problem with this is how far off I am on my life goals/plan*.
For a moment let’s ignore the fact that I’m currently unemployed, looking at changing career paths and living with my parents (those are all depressing enough on their own).
My original life plan looked like this (counting backwards):
Age 30: Have final kid. This allows me to not be an old parent. I would like to not be fifty when my youngest graduates high school. There’s lots of reasoning behind this (my parents are young, I want to be able to do stuff with them without being too crotchety, etc.).
Age 28-29: Have initial child/ren.
Age 26: Get married. This allows me to have a couple years of marriage without worrying about the whole kids thing.
Age 24-25: Meet my future wife (if I hadn’t already). Figuring at least a year of dating/engagement/etc. before marriage.
For this to all work out, I need to meet my wife, oh, right about nowish. This is complicated by the life situation outlined and summarliy ignored above. I’m just poorly situated for dating at the moment (never mind my freakishly small circle of-local-friends and outrageously lame social life). Needless to say, I’ve been on minor level freak-out about this since my buddies started getting married last year.
Ok, that was a little personal for this forum, but heck, if you know me, you’ve heard this before and if you don’t, then who cares, right?
Moral of the story: to my friends – slow down already! To the single ladies: now accepting applications! (Not that I’m desperate or anything, clearly…)
*The more realistic/rational/legitimate one, not to be confused with the previously listed life goals. Not that those aren’t important as well…
Jake said,
June 27, 2006 at 6:05 am
First of all…Happy Birthday Jim!!! Don’t worry 25 isn’t too bad. 30 holy shit yes. I’ve had most of the same thoughts as you since all our friends and all my co-workers who are even younger than I are also getting married. Who knows what is going to happen next which I guess is what I think makes LIFE itself so interesting and sometimes unfair.
Baron K said,
July 2, 2006 at 9:59 pm
I think so much pressure is put onto people in their 20’s. Society makes it known that you have to take all of your 20’s to plan out your life. But honestly, that isn’t true. Make a living, but make your career when you find what you like. Don’t rush into kids or marriage, because what you want at 25 or 28 is different than at 32. Just take life one day at a time and relax. I’ve decided that I wouldn’t mind being 40 and having my first kid…I’m 32. I have years to go.
Maj said,
July 4, 2006 at 6:39 am
Happy Birthday Jim!!!!!!!!!!! 25 is nothing compared to turning 26. It’s much closer to the “over the hill” side than 25.
The early 20’s (or soon to be late 20’s for me) are the best time to try new things and find out what you enjoy doing. There’s no rush. Just let it flow.
oh yeah…where do I apply? (j/k)
vish said,
July 5, 2006 at 7:22 am
Happy Budday Jim !
I turned 25 this 20th too..sob sob
And well..the rest of your blog fits me to the very last bits .Ditto here to everything you talked about.
But its still better to be by yourself until 40 even..than get stuck with the wrong sort..which is the only sort I ever happen to meet ofcourse
Hope u dont mind strangers leaving comments..In my defense..too much of whats on my mind was in your post !
Andy said,
July 10, 2006 at 9:41 pm
Dude, If you wanna babysit for a couple hours, day, or even season to help you feel more on track, you go the hell for it, yo. I bet being puked and farted on will make you not feel quite so bad.
Although, this is you we’re talking about and that seems like a typical Thursday afternoon for Jimberly. (:
P.S. I’M BACK BITCHES!
Rob V. said,
July 11, 2006 at 2:45 pm
I know what you’re going through. At 27, my life is finally just about where I thought it would be on “my timeline.” But at 22 or so, it looked bleak.
My solution was to let God take the reins in my life, since He knows a whole lot more than I do. Guess what? It worked!